Nine years ago, I said yes to William, to be his girlfriend.
Two years ago, I said yes to William, to be his fiancé.
One year ago, I said I do to William, to be his lawfully wedded wife.
And yesterday, I said yes to William, that it was indeed the recycling bin that needed to be taken out this week.
So, what’s married life like?
I get asked this question over and over again, and although I still don’t feel like I can answer it with much depth as it has only been one year, I think I now have a better understanding of the difference between dating and being married.
In a way, our wedding day marked the conclusion of her and his life, and the beginning of our life. I write ‘life’ rather than ‘lives’ because I believe it’s no longer about being singular, but about coming together and building as one. When I walked down the aisle and said I do, I had a rough idea of what marriage entailed, but unfortunately not even google can give you all the answers. Marriage, like everything else in life, cannot be taught or understood. Everyone is different, and everyone has different dynamics in their relationship. What works for one couple may destroy another. It’s something that needs to be felt simultaneously by both people involved.
Luckily, Will and I have been together since high school (grade 9 for me and grade 11 for Will). We’ve basically lived at each others houses until my second year of University, then we moved and lived together for roughly a year and a half in Darwin prior to getting married and buying our first home. So I’d like to think that we knew each other pretty well before marriage, because of this it wasn’t a complete shock when I ‘accidentally’ only bought white décor for the entire house or if Will ‘accidentally’ didn’t put away his lunch containers. It’s essentially all we’ve ever known. Everything we do on a daily basis has been moulded from the beginning together. It’s funny, because we both did a personality test last night for the first time and both scored extremely high in the category of ‘perfectionists’. I have no idea where we may have picked up these traits but it makes a lot more sense as to why I’m such a freak when it comes to tidying our home and colour coordinating every room in the house and why Will’s side of the dresser is always picture perfect besides when I throw in a few of my items.
The way our house runs is smooth because we know our responsibilities and we know when and what we need to do in order to keep our routine consistent and efficient. We obviously have the occasional days where either Wills absolutely wrecked from work or I’ve been working from 5am – 9pm with a short 30min break and had no time to do the laundry, or cook dinner. Those are the days we rely on the other half to help out and balance the situation which normally happens almost instantly. It’s as if we both know as soon as we see each other whether one of us has had a normal day or a crazily, hectic, ‘get me junk food now’, busy sort of day. For me, marriage is all about team work and having each others back, especially during the stressful times… so whoever it is juggling their day like a maniac… you get them that ice cream… or if it’s both of you then hooray, let’s make it a party and go buy a packet of Maltesers, sour lollies, and a few desserts!
I hear two different spectrums on the topic of marriage, people often say ‘don’t do it, it’s a trap’ or ‘my gosh, it must be the most amazing thing ever’. In my opinion depending on the people and the situation, both are wrong. There are days when you can casually wake up, pop some acoustic on, prance around in your pyjamas, cook breakfast together and cuddle for hours, these days are called… Sundays and yes they are amazing! I think some people who are optimistic about marriage, picture that, as the everyday. Don’t get me wrong, those days definitely are a part of married life. Will and I put a huge emphasis on using our weekends/days off to really spend quality time together as our weekdays are always so full on and involve a lot more dedication, compromise, patience and love.
Living together, travelling together, exercising together, paying bills together, sharing chores together, working together, growing up together – these are the realties of marriage and they can bring out the best, and sometimes the worst in people… yes, unfortunately I do get super competitive when it comes to who can fold their clothes the fastest.
You may still be asking the good ol’ question,
so, come on now, whats married life like for you…?
First of all, before I get into my experience thus far, I don’t think anyone should ever compare their relationship with another. Everyone has different perfections and flaws that they love or hate. What I may find amazing, somebody else could think of as mediocre and vice versa. What works for myself and William may never work for yourself and your significant other. Our emotions may not be what you’re feeling but in no way does it mean your relationship or ours is any worse or better.
I can confidently say that so far I am so extremely grateful and happy with the life Will and I have created together. I honestly didn’t think it was possible but I am more in love with this amazing man today than I was one year ago when we said, “I do”. I cannot believe that time has passed so quickly and yet I can think back and reminisce on how many little milestones we have both accomplished. I hear people say ‘marriage is hard’, I disagree, I think life is hard, all the pressures and rocks that get thrown at you are sometimes so difficult to manage and I think those who have found a partner or soulmate to help navigate through those storms are so extremely lucky. Our marriage quite often floats down a beautiful stream peacefully and lovingly, there are a few ducks that float along with us, supporting our adventures (family/friends), sometimes there’s a small exciting wave (new experiences/beginnings), sometimes a little rain (little disagreements, mainly on what we should eat for dessert, crème brulee always), and very rarely a thunderstorm hits (family, loss, work issues). During these gusty moments we continue to keep paddling, we keep afloat, we hold onto each other’s hand a little tighter, and we never let go until the storm dissipates. This is, what marriage looks like for us…
I would love to hear about your experiences or any questions you guys may have! PM me on Instagram or comment away below.